you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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