We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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