made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
