just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
