So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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