at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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