I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
