She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
