obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
