One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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