Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
