We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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