would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
