I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
