She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My balls are so social today.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
