New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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