The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
