Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
