my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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