i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
