The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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