If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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