you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
