Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
