im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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