Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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