Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
