I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
