PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
