O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
