just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
