when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
