If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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