Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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