I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
