Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
