and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
