Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You took a bar mat shot.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
