You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
