before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
