went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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