forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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