Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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