I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
