I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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