So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she smelled like a LAN party
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
