Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
