Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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