Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
