i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
