Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
