I need help removing her.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
