Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
