i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
