Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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