i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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