And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
