Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
