I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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